I fucking never forgive myself for this !

I hate that feeling.
The feeling when you need to throw up.
The Feeling when you'r not good enough.
When you can't wear a T-shirt, because of the scars.
I truly hate it. The one thing I hate the most is me.
That I allowed myself to become this monster.
I hate myself. I fucking hate myself.
I want to die. I have destroyed my future. I have destroyed me.
I will never forgive myself for loosing myself.
I will never, fucking never forgive myself for this.